On Time: How to Make the Most of It as a Midlife Millennial

It's a been an eventful past few weeks. I recently celebrated the wedding of two great friends in the Dominican Republic. I spent the next weekend catching up with old friends in LA. And I'm writing this post from a snowboarding trip in Whistler, BC.

Even by my own standards, these past few weeks have been a lot. But with everything going on, I've been getting asked a question that I've received a lot throughout life:

How do you find so much time?

This question's always been a bit confusing because at the end of the day, we all have 24 hours in the day. Even accounting for 8 hours of sleep and 8 more for work, we have at least 8 hours to live, with plenty more on weekends and holidays.

I think a better question would be:

How do I make the most of my time when it feels like time is slipping by faster each day?

The way we spend our time is a choice. As a product manager, I spend a lot of my (work) time aligning people on the strategic choices we should make to improve our product. That can sound really abstract and convoluted, but in practice, it boils down to convincing people to spend their time solving a certain set of problems over other possible options.

I think life works similarly. It's not that we don't have enough time. It's that we spend our time on a lot of other things that aren't aligned with what we really want. And if we aren't careful, our days fill up with a lot of other demands on our time that leave us feeling spent but ultimately unfulfilled.

Spend your time, or time will spend you.

A really important first step is getting really clear about what I value. Focusing on my health, building shared experiences with loved ones, and sharing my thoughts online are filling me with joy lately, so those are what I'm choosing to prioritize my time around. That's not to say I don't have other things going on, but I'm planning my days around these priorities and letting other things fill in the remaining time.

Finally, I'm fully aware of the privileged position I find myself in to be relatively free of a lot of very legitimate demands on time in the lives of my friends: kids, aging parents, multiple jobs, and more. I have the utmost respect for people who are balancing so many priorities. But even then, I'd argue that they're (hopefully) prioritizing those demands based on what they value, and hopefully they're choosing to apply their time in the way that brings them the most joy too.

Anyway, next time you find yourself thinking, "I wish I could do ___, but I don't have time", reframe the statement to put yourself in control of how you spend your time. When you get past time as the focus of scarcity and start to think critically about the value judgement you're making, you may find that you have more time than you need to do the things that really matter most.

Have a great week!

Ron